My name is Philip, I am a ten month old terrier and I live on a quiet street in Los Angeles. My story starts some time ago when I followed a strange lady home. She smelled like burrito's, or maybe an enchilada, either way I wanted a taste. I didn't have a home at that point and so I worked out that this woman obviously had food, and that I could use my charm to get some of it. It worked for a while, but then the man she lived with beat me for not obeying him. How awful is that? I mean I was just looking for a snack, and even though I'm a great writer, I don't really understand the spoken word so to say. Anyway, it made me real scared of human's, especially the male ones. The females are OK, the seem nice, but the dudes just suck!! So after he hit me he just left me to roam the street. I had nowhere else to go so I kept trying to stay but he just pushed me out. There are so many words that I have for this guy, but I always try to take the high road, and besides, who wants to stoop to that level right? So, luckily for me another lady, pretty good looking too, took me in and her and the guy she lives with fed me and brushed my hair and gave me some awesome toys! I mean real great stuff, like this pink rubber thing that they stuff treats into, or this other football thing that I already popped, then there was this fluffy bed, and like a weird plastic bottle with a piece of rope hanging out the top. Just great stuff, those people were cool, I might go hang out there again sometime. So after a while there, some other guy came by and took me to his place down the street. He and his wife seem real nice, they gave me some bacon, and let me tell you, I just loves me some pig. I stayed there last night and then this morning he dropped me off for a bath and a haircut. That's where I am now. I'd tell you more but my iphone is about to die, I hate this phone, I should have just got an old Nokia, but what can you do.
Anyway I gotta go, I just saw some dirty bitch walk through the door, hope they put her next to me!